Exposing cruel and unusual workplaces since 2005.
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Showing 6 - 10 of 42 Tales in "All-Staff".
Tale # 27
Dept: All-Staff Score: 438
Dec 6th 2005 Submitted by Anonymous
“Afternoon Tea”
A donut I worked on a shared floor combining Internal Communications, Risk, and ourselves (Marketing). Our team, though small in number, was great in volume.

We used to have a tea lady who would take a snack trolley to each floor of our 40 storey corporate head office. This sounds nice, but it was actually a ploy to stop employees leaving for an afternoon sugar hit, thereby reducing productivity.

As she exited the lift on each floor, she would ring a little bell on her trolley and sing out "afternoooon teeeeaaaa". Our team would loudly sing along to the "teeeeaaa" part. This went on for about ten months until one day someone from the Risk department asked us to stop singing along with the tea lady as it was disrupting the rest of the floor. They then made a complaint to catering about the tea lady's singing and now she is only allowed to softly ring the bell - just once - them must remain silent for the rest of the duration that she is on our floor.
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Tale # 76
Dept: All-Staff Score: 413
Mar 2nd 2006 Submitted by Anonymous
“Number Seven”
A donut I have many stories about this particular Chairman of a company I used to work for, but this is my favorite.

The Chairman hired two assistants to run his office. The woman was "Kate" and the young man was "Alan," but the Chairman called him "Seven". For days Alan endured the Chairman calling them into the office by yelling down the hall, "Sue! Seven!"

Finally, Alan asked, "Why do you call me Seven?" The Chairman replied that he was the seventh assistant hired that month.

Aha. Alan got it, but kindly asked, "Why don't you just call me by my name?"

The Chairman said, "Because you're not going to be f*!%ing around long enough for me to learn your f*!%ing name!" He then pushed passed Alan, shouting, "Kate! Get rid of Seven and get me Eight!"
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Tale # 30
Dept: All-Staff Score: 388
Dec 12th 2005 Submitted by Tractor Man
“The Principle of the Thing”
A donut My family runs a small tractor and power equipment dealership. We are faced with dealing with the power of a world-wide tractor company. We have to follow all their little rules. They instituted a new program for certification for all their dealerships and I was in charge of taking pictures of the shop and the employees and filling out a bunch of "self test" questions in their nice three ring binder they sent us.

I was still in college at the time so I worked on this through my Christmas break knowing that it had to be in by the first of the year and that our warranty and parts reimbursements would be completely based on our self test certification. I was probably the first dealer in America to get all materials in and was so proud of my work.

8 months later the company starts giving my Grandfather a fit about not being certified. All eyes now stare at me. Long story short, the notebook sat on a service reps desk for 8 months untouched and we had been getting shorter margins all year on work we had done for the company. My Grandfather rode two hours into the big city where the company was. He went through the cubicle farms and brought as many people as he could into their giant meeting room with a table and chairs that were probably worth more than our houses. They, of course, started in with the "we're sorry" treatment when he hushed them quickly and said, "Look, it's not the priciple of the thing, IT'S THE MONEY!" We were completely compensated. LINK
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Tale # 61
Dept: All-Staff Score: 363
Jan 25th 2006 Submitted by Dave
“Unfairness At Work”
A donut When I take a long time... I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time... he is thorough.

When I don't do it... I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it... he is too busy.

When I do something without being told... I am over-stepping my boundaries.
When my boss does the same thing... that is initiative.

When I take a stand... I am stubborn.
When my boss does it... he is being firm.

When I overlook a rule of etiquette... I am rude.
When my boss slips a few rules... he is being original.

When I please my boss... I am apple polishing.
When my boss pleases his boss... he is co-operating.

When I get ahead... I am lucky.
When my boss gets ahead... that's hard work. LINK
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Tale # 29
Dept: All-Staff Score: 280
Dec 12th 2005 Submitted by Marky Lazer
“Money for Meetings”
A donut When you were a minute late at work, our clocking system would notice and you didnít get paid for the full hour, but for forty-five minutes. In the past people came late and this was the only solutionÖ

Every first Saturday of the month, we had a kick-off meeting. All the employees would turn up an hour before we were supposed to start, and talked about the great things we accomplished in the past month, and the things that needed to improve. You got a free cup of tea. No salary.

I refused to show up at the meeting if I didnít get the money I deserved. Itís a two-way story, I said to my line manager. I was not amused.

Every week, there was a half-four meeting on Friday with some special departments that worked close together. My line-manager put me on the list to attend them and if I didnít go, he would have a reason to sack me. What he forgot was my argument for not showing up, and he also forgot that these meetings counted as work time, providing me with an extra hour of salary in the week. The only thing I did was smile and nip my tea. LINK
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Showing 6 - 10 of 42 Tales in "All-Staff".